Newest Nurse on the Planet - A Memoir
Get Your Copy!
Kristy Polden's collection of humorously unhinged stories of youth and her journey through nursing. Purchase two copies in case one gets C-diff on it, as these nursing stories often remind us to be prepared for anything.
About Author Kristy Polden
msn-ed, rn, ba
Kristy Polden has been teaching nursing at a technical college since 2019, which means she’s spent years explaining to students why “just Google it” is not an acceptable care plan reference. Before that, she earned a bachelor’s degree in creative writing from the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire, showcasing her unique journey into creative storytelling and her unmatched talent for wasting money. After receiving her bachelor's degree in English, she went on to nursing school and became a Registered Nurse in 2014. She has been holding penises and killing patients ever since.
Kristy writes like she teaches, with a style that's both heartwarming and humorous. Her storytelling, rooted in her experiences as a bedside nurse and educator, is enriched by her roles as a wife and mother of two energetic kids, along with her two dogs and a hamster. These experiences shape her funny nurse memoirs that resonate with many - nurses and non-nurses alike.
In her free time, Kristy can be found lost in novels, riding her bike around the trails of Eau Claire County, or roasting her husband and kids with clever one-liners. Summers are spent at the baseball field, and there's nowhere else this momma would rather be. She firmly believes in God and country, as well as kindness and dogs.
When she’s not battling illnesses or writing nursing stories about the ghosts of patients past, Kristy is at home with her larger-than-life family, who humorously indulge her desire to share her stories at the dinner table. While she does have in-laws, that section of her memoir may or may not be redacted for holiday gift reasons. Her childhood and relationship with her brothers greatly shaped her life, filling it with love, even in the loss.
Kristy’s voice blends relentless humor and raw confession, making her work a delightful mix; think Florence Nightingale meets a stand-up comic with a TMI mentality. Her books will make you laugh and cry but ultimately leave you wanting more.
About the book
Newest Nurse on the Planet began as a book for nursing students and graduates as a practical, honest look at what they might encounter as they entered the profession. As she tried to explain nursing concepts, difficult patients, and the realities of bedside care, she repeatedly found herself returning to the unusual experiences that had shaped her own life and career.
What started as advice slowly became something much more personal. Stories about nursing led to reflections on growing up surrounded by diet culture, struggling with self-image, witnessing addiction, losing loved ones, and learning how grief can follow a person into every part of adulthood.
The book gradually developed into a memoir about survival; not only surviving nursing school or a demanding shift but surviving the experiences that change who you are.
Through heartbreaking, heartwarming, frightening, and sometimes unbelievable patient encounters, she offers students and nurses an honest understanding of the emotional realities of healthcare.
Newest Nurse on the Planet is a brutally honest, wildly funny, and emotionally gut-punching memoir for anyone who has ever wondered if they were cut out for the chaos of healthcare or simply trying to survive a shift with their sanity and scrubs intact. From becoming a nervous teenager who once ghosted an unconscious coworker in distress to finding herself holding a stranger’s penis with her bare hands on shift, she chronicles the good, the bad, and the haunting experiences of nursing life.
Perfect for new nurses, nursing students, or anyone who loves a laugh-out-loud story with a strong pulse, Newest Nurse on the Planet is more than a memoir, it’s a survival guide everyone who has known a nurse needs to read. Even if you're not in healthcare, this book is deeply entertaining at its very core. It's a survival guide, a confession, a love letter, and a warning label.
CALLING ALL NURSES
Are you a nurse with a heartwarming, hilarious, embarrassing, or inspiring story to share? Have you experienced a moment on the job that made you laugh until you cried, restored your faith in humanity, or reminded you why you chose this incredible profession? Perhaps you have some advice or tips for nursing newbies or a moment you wish you had known as a new nurse? Have you been treated unfairly as a nurse or has an outlandish HR violation talk? We would love to hear about how you have been treated.
We are collecting real-life nursing stories for a special book (and possibly, podcast), a tribute to the unforgettable moments that define our lives as nurses. Whether it’s an unexpected patient encounter, a shocking foreign object story, a shift that changed your perspective, or a lesson you'll hold close forever, your experience is valuable!
Submit your nursing stories today: Send your true nursing story/memory/experience (short and sweet is best!) to AuthorKristyPolden@gmail.com or share your experiences in the comment box below. Please remember to protect patient privacy.
This will be compiled into an anthology of nursing stories. Feel free to use a pen name if you prefer. Indicate “Anonymous” if you wish.